let it begin

Today is Mother's Day. I have been thinking a lot about motherhood this week and posted about it here on my family blog.

I have felt very inadequate and unhappy in my role as a mom. I have talked to and read blogs about other women who feel quite the opposite. They LOVE their role as a mom, they adore their children and their children can do no wrong in their eyes! That is not how I feel. I don't hate my kids by any means, but I do not enjoy them or my daily life like I want to and feel like I should.  I want to really enjoy this time while my boys are young and stop waiting for them to be potty trained or in grade school. I want my daily life NOW to be enjoyable. I thought it was my boys at first - that they were soooooo crazy and so active and so difficult, but I don't think so anymore ... I think it's me. I think the only difference bewteen me and a happy mom is my own darn attitude. So, I aim to fix that.

I was sitting in a church meeting today (I don't usually get a chance to sit there, alone, without teaching a class) and I was thinking about this perdicament I have found myself in lately and I came up with a plan.

To enable me to think more positively about my boys, I am starting this blog. I will be dedicated to write at least 3 things about each boy that is uplifting, funny, cute or insightful EVERYDAY. I can use only one of the 3 things as a picture I took that day, if I'd like :)

Yeah, that's it. I'm curious to see if this changes anything - but it's worth a try! Here are my things for today:

Noah

1. Tonight at dinner Noah shared his special peach soda, that he got on a bike ride with daddy yesterday, with Liam after Liam woke up and was in a bad mood at the dinner table. He also shared his new car with Liam (also in an effort to shake Liam of his bad mood).

2. How he looked so excited when I woke up this morning and immediately ran into the office, found his Mother's Day card he had been hiding and working on for a week and delivered it to me with the biggest smile on his face and said, "Mommy, this is for you! Happy Birthday!" as I was still sitting on the toilet. :)

3. When I heard Noah, after church, walking into the kitchen and singing "I often go walking in meadows of clover", unabashedly, so clearly, so lovely.

Liam

1. When he put his feet up on the breakfast table and laid back in relaxation as he finished horking down his toast this morning.

2. It's the face he makes when he's questioning you or disturbed about something. His little, fat lips hang open and he furrows his brow and whatever he says ends in an upturn of his voice ... can you picture it? I can.

3. How sometimes, like last night and today for his nap, he reaches for me and says "mommy!" when Daniel tries to put him down to sleep. He still needs me.